Unsent Letter No. 3

It's been so long since I heard from you;
Sometimes, I wonder if you miss me at all.
Every time you come crawling back,
I forgive you for disappearing,
But do you honestly feel remorse?
Is there any way for me to even know?
I wish I could just kick you out of my life,
Trust me, I really do,
But I don't think you understand what I mean
When I tell you that I still love you.
Sure, I may not use those exact words,
But are you so dense you cannot see?
No matter, I suppose,
Because only one of us gets hurt in the end,
And that one of us is me.
I'm not going to ask you to come back,
I'm not going to beg you to stay.
But know this: in the end,
I can always take the pain
Of watching you walk away.
Over, and over, and over again,
I'll fall down to my knees;
I'll yield to waves of coming tears,
But you won't see it;
You'll just see me, standing there,
Waving my goodbyes.

Until we meet again;
Best regards.

Hypocritical Society

Welcome to society:
Please obey the rules.

Gay pride is considered great,
But being proud to be straight is a sin.
It's okay to slander "white" people,
But offend someone "black" and prepare to suffer.
You can tell a reptile owner to shoot their pet,
But don't ever ask a dog owner to please keep their pet off you.
You're allowed to moan and complain,
But only if everyone agrees,
And nobody does anything about it.
You need to dress decently,
But only on Sundays and at work.
All those other times, show a lot of skin
But only if you're a girl.
Your identity is what makes you unique,
So show it off all you like,
But only if you fit in.
If not, you're weird and should leave.
If someone offends you, be respectful and kind,
But they have no obligation to do the same.
If someone needs you, be there,
But don't expect them to come running when you're the one broken.
You can publicly strip
But not publicly pray,
So maybe we should burn the Constitution.
"M" rated games are okay for kids,
But "R" rated movies are not,
Even though the "M" and the "R"
Mean the exact same thing.
Women are allowed to feel oppressed by men,
But if they feel oppressed by feminists, that's their own fault,
Say the feminists who objectify everyone.
It's okay to be rude to everyone
Who you think is lesser than you,
But the pyramid is unclear,
And no one's really sure
How we move up or down.

Welcome to society:
Please obey the rules,
'Else you'll be shamed, punished, cast out, and silenced,
And you'll wish we'd killed you sooner.

Confusion

I am confused, torn,
Constantly attacked by the winds of change.
My world likes to twist around,
See if it can bend my beliefs.
I don't know any more.
I don't know what to say or do,
I don't know where to go,
I don't know who to trust.
Who am I, anyway?
What is this world becoming?
Why am I even here?
This place is unfamiliar,
But I used to call it home.
I'm so lost now,
And I'm utterly alone.
I'm confused and broken,
And I think I'm bleeding out.
I can't figure out why I don't feel any pain.
Where are you, I wonder,
Because you said you'd be here,
But I don't think you're coming,
And I'm not sure if you care.
I tried writing things down
To get my story right,
But it's just a mess of words,
Unreadable, confusing.
So who's that person hiding there,
The one who's just like me?
Can you see her, with her back in the corner?
She's crying, sobbing silently.
Her body shakes; she's broken inside.
I'm seeing myself, you understand,
But I just can't comprehend.
Who did I used to be, and when did I change?
I'm lost in confusion
And drowning in fear.

These Long Nights

It's in these long nights
Where the world makes sense.
Without the presence of the lights,
The mind is not so dense.
The best time to think
Is after one lies down.
Into thoughts I sink,
But never shall I drown.
These long nights are the times
That the words fall out in droves.
They dance and form rhymes
To create poetry, not prose.
But despite the beauty all around,
In these long nights, a feeling stirs,
A feeling intense, it drags me down;
In these long nights, tears blur.

In these long nights of silence,
Form long nights of loneliness.

Unsent Letter No. 2

I fell in love with you
In the dark of the night.
It crept up on me; I didn't see it coming.
When first I heard you, saw you,
I should have known what was to come.
It followed me.
It grew on me.
And I fell in love with you.
I didn't even suspect a thing,
But as soon as I knew what happened,
I realized what was to come.
You needed it back,
The piece that followed me home,
And so I let you tear it out of me,
Out of my heart.
I watched the hole it left bleed,
And saw a tiny fragment still inside.
The piece of it remained,
And I am still in love.
So I built a wall around my heart,
A bubble, if you will.
I used it to seal myself away,
And I cut off that connection to you.
But because I fell in love with you,
When I think of you, it hurts,
Because that sharp-edged piece rests in my heart,
And it's aching to grow again.
Because in the dark of the night,
A long time ago,
I fell in love with you.

I'm still in love with you;
Best regards.

The Things I Can't Do (Another World)

In another world, I am someone else.
In a world of ones, zeros, and elaborate lines of code
My fears do not haunt me.
I can do the things I can't do,
I can say the things I'd never say.
In another world, I am strong.
I stand up to dragons and demons,
Instead of being afraid to order food.
I don't get antsy about being alone,
Because the friendly A.I. is there.
I can do things I can't do.
In another world, I can breathe fire,
Swing swords with lightning speed,
Run forever, climb mountains, defeat monsters, use any weapon I find,
But here, those are things I can't do.
In another world, I can fire a rifle
With pinpoint, deadly accuracy.
Not here.
In that world of ones and zeros,
And elaborate lines of code,
I can be whoever I want to be,
Do whatever I want to do.
I can use magic, guns, blades,
Things I can't do here.
In another world, I am free.

They Tell Me

They tell me I should grow up
And join society.
They tell me I should contribute
To a dying economy.
They tell me how to think and act
In a certain way.
But I would rather stay in bed
And do nothing all day.

They tell me I'm a citizen
Who needs to play her role.
But life is just a one-act play;
Play by the rules, it's dull.
They tell me what to do,
They tell me what to say,
But I am going to sit in bed
And do nothing all the day.

Go enjoy those useless rules,
Make sure to write them down.
Unless you learn to swim away,
You shall surely drown.

They tell me to love society,
They tell me what to say.
They tell me "Fix the economy,"
But in my bed, I'll stay.

Fire Inside

There is a fire inside me,
And there's one inside you.
They both burn oh so bright.
I'd explain them, if I knew,
But they're impossible to truly see.

They have brilliant flames,
Sparks that thirst for more,
Flames that give off so much light.
We're standing on the shore
Of a sea of fire with many names.

The fire inside is so fierce
It consumes everything in its path.
It's at its hottest in the night.
The fire inside carries no wrath,
But both our bodies it shall pierce.

Who You Were

I loved who you were,
But now you're different;
You changed so much,
I don't think I would have recognized you.
It's like a new person is there,
Talking to me with your voice,
Looking at me with your eyes,
And I'm not sure how I feel about this.
I loved who you were.
You're completely different,
And I'm shocked,
Because you were great.
I wonder about who you were;
Was it all an act?
Just a lie, a story?
Or is the person staring back at me the fake one?
I don't know, but what if they're both real?
The person you used to be,
Where are they now?
Are they inside or far away or gone?
I loved who you were.

What I Feel

If you could feel what I feel,
I suppose you'd understand
What it's like to have fire and ice
Inside your heart, inside your head.
If you could feel what I feel,
You'd finally grasp the idea
That opposites can coexist,
Though it's not exactly peaceful.
If you could feel what I feel,
You could also know
Why I say the things I say
And do the things I do.
If you could feel what I feel,
You'd feel a broken heart,
But a strong, enduring one,
Though you think it impossible.
If you could feel what I feel,
You'd understand the pain
Of fighting a battle eternally,
A battle you cannot win.
If you could feel what I feel,
And stand as long as I have,
I'd hold you close as you broke,
And apologize a thousand times.
If you could feel what I feel
I'd never forgive myself,
Because no human being
Should need to feel as I do.

Time Flies

It feels like only yesterday
That you and I were strangers.
It seems as if the world has changed
In the space of a few hours.
It feels like all the time slipped by
In the time it takes to blink.
It seems as if the universe turned
Before we could look and see.
It feels like years turned to days,
And the clock is on caffeine.
It seems as if the pendulum
Has sped up its even swing.
It feels like all our memories
Are snapshots of yesterday.
It seems as if twenty-fourteen
Was just the month of May.

A Letter from a Snake

Dear Human Child,
You look at me with such wonder in your eyes.
The grown ones have not yet taught you to fear me,
And that, I think, is a good thing.
You should not be afraid;
I am no warrior.
I would rather hide from you than fight you.
Humans are the scary ones.
Please, little person, do not lose that wonder in your eyes.
Respect me, respect my brothers,
But, please, don't be afraid.
We do not mean to frighten so many.
I do not want the big people to teach you fear.
I want them to teach you to love, respect, and cherish us.
We do so much more for you that you know.
Always keep that wonder, Child.
Your Friend,
Snake.

Nightmares

I've been having nightmares again,
Little terrors, in my dreams.
They stare at me with eyes that burn
And feast on all my screams.
They're ugly, fearsome, nasty things,
And they put up quite the fight.
I just can't seem to banish them
And send them back into the night.
Their little claws tear at my flesh,
But leave no physical mark.
Their teeth gnash and chew and bite,
Leaving my spirit scarred.
Hello nightmares. I thought you left,
Chased off long ago.
I've always wanted to defeat you,
But how? I do not know.
I've been having nightmares again.

You

I'm jealous of you.
The way they look at you,
The way they idolize you.
Sometimes, I wish I were you.
But then I remember what's wrong with you.
And I question why I care about you.
They don't need me; they have you.
What a wonder, to be you.
The world seems to revolve around you.
Yet here I am, judging you.
Your standards, I think, are faker than you.
Pretending comes naturally to you.
Attention is a necessity for you.
I'm watching you,
Protecting you,
Even though I don't really need you.
But, never fear, I don't hate you.
I'm just a little jealous of you.

Unsent Letter No. 1

It's been awhile,
Old friend.
It's been quite some time
Since you tore me apart.
I know it was partially my fault,
But I didn't deserve it.
We both know that.

If I could bring myself to hate you
For what you did,
I would,
But, honestly, I have so many memories
Of myself with you,
And I'd like those to stay untainted.

It's been so long;
You've changed so much.
What happened to that spirit of yours?
I thought it was impossible to tame you,
But it seems I was wrong.
I didn't know they could break you.

I can't hate you,
But I don't think I want you back, either.
The soul I loved is gone now,
And you're just an empty husk.
I'm not asking for forgiveness;
I'm not confessing anything.
I'm simply telling you
That I can't hate you.

I don't really know how I feel.
How could I love you anymore?
I've recovered from the pain,
The agony you caused.
But I'd like to keep those memories,
If you don't mind,
Because I know you were great once.

Best regards.