The Ritual

Bodies -

Moving as one -

Twisting, burning,

Seeking and yearning:

Something

In that moment,

Untouchable,

Individual.

There's more

Down underneath:

Desirable,

Undeniable.

A want,

A primal need;

Instinctual,

Yet a ritual.

Twisting, churning,

Aching, burning,

Seeking, yearning,

Finding, learning:

The dance,

With another -

Hungering, lingering,

Groping, fingering

The soul.

Ritual acts,

Rehearsed, practiced,

Nearing madness,

Guide them

In this great search

For something more;

They're labeled as whores,

A sin

In eyes of some,

This instinctual,

Sacred ritual.

Backsliding

I thought we could do it.

I thought I could build this.

I thought it was sustainable.

But now we're backsliding.

But now I'm burned out.

But now it's falling apart.

Collapsing, dragged from the dead;

Over and over we run in circles,

Two steps forward, three steps back

Like a terrible tango, we dance.

I don't know why I keep trying.

I don't know why I believed.

I know it's my fault, my failure,

That we keep coming to this.

I coddled and forgave and forgot

And lost myself along the way.

But what do I want now?

But what can I do now?

I wanted to bring in everyone.

I wanted to support everyone.

I wanted to be friends with everyone.

But I brought it too far, now.

But I can't sustain this anymore.

But I don't want to hurt anyone.

I remember, now,

Why I gave up for so long.

I remember, now,

That some are too far gone.

I remember, now,

The hopelessness of it all.

I remember, now,

My failure, my shortcomings, my fall.

Is it really all mine to bear?

Did I forgive too much,

Was my guidance too gentle?

Or was it a choice,

Made by others,

To put the self before the whole?

I thought we could do this.

I tried, so hard, to do this. 

I thought I could build this.

I tried, so hard, to build this.

I thought this was sustainable.

I failed, so hard, to sustain this.