Peace

The most peaceful moments
Are the ones where my pulse is in my skin
And I can feel my heart beating in my chest.
I feel in tune with myself,
With this body that I call home,
And I find peace in its rhythms.
I meditate, I suppose,
On how it feels to be alive,
While feeling the whispers of air
Moving in, out, and through me;
Breath of life filling my body.
I think of the warmth of my skin,
A stark contrast to the coolness of the air,
And a reminder of what I am.
Of course, my heart keeps beating on;
It taps out a thrumming song,
Starting in my chest and echoing in my skin,
Singing through my arteries
And harmonizing in my veins.
Its tune brings me peace,
For I know it is a part of me.
And as long as that beat goes on,
I will know that I'm alive.

Heartless

I'm a heartless bitch,
A burden on society.
I'm a piece of shit,
Oh baby, can't you see?

Don't lie to me sweetheart,
I already know what I am.
Don't hurt yourself sweetheart,
You know who I am.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone,
No matter how cruel.
I hate the person I've become,
And within my mind I duel.

Don't tell me I'm good, baby.
I already know what I've done.
Don't tell me it'll be okay, baby.
You know what I've done.

I'm a heartless, selfish being,
Full of dark desires.
I deserve my beating,
My death in hottest fires.

In My Nest

I'm curled up,
Warm and comfortable
In a nest of my own making.
The window's open;
I left it so,
To listen to the rain.

Now that little window crack
Lets through the songs of birds.
And so I sit here, snuggled up
Listening to their chirps.

I'm warm right here,
So warm and safe,
But I never get too hot.
For with the singing of the birds
Comes the pleasant wind of spring.

I could fall right back to sleep
And doze through this day of rest.
But instead, I'll greet the sun;
Tonight, I'll crawl in my nest.

Too Kind to Me

Well hey there.
You know you're too kind to me, right?
I don't need you to stay up all night,
Listening to my problems
And trying to help the best way you know how.
You don't deserve that.
You don't deserve my heartache.
You have enough problems of your own to deal with,
So don't worry about little old me.

You're too patient when you talk to me.
I don't deserve your gentle words,
Or your listening ear.
You're too kind to me, and I don't deserve that.
I don't deserve that effort.
There are other people out there who are worth your time,
So don't worry about me; you know I'm hopeless,
And you're just too damn kind.

Haphazard

Wow.
I'm just a mess, aren't I?
A terribly twisted tangle of thoughts,
Thrown together without care,
Barely able to function.
So why am I still here?

I am like a child's bed,
Blankets piled everywhere,
With no regard for the way
That everything should be ordered;
Tossed together by one who feels
They shouldn't've even bothered.

I have more issues than Time magazine,
Without enough time to work them out.
And what's the point of even trying,
When nothing seems to bring about
Any sort of change, progress,
So why am I still here?

I'm screaming inside, I think.
I'm crying out for help, I think.
I don't know what to do, I think,
And I have nowhere to go
Except inside my own head.
And that's the last place I want to be.

Pretty Little Bird

I am nothing but a pretty little bird
Living in a pretty gilded cage.
I think my wings have been clipped;
Even if the door were open,
I don't think I could fly away.

I do not peep, won't say a word
For I fear my captor's rage.
And know my heart'd be ripped
To watch his spirit broken
If I were to fly away.

I feel as if my thoughts are blurred,
Filled songs of a wise old sage.
Yet here I know I'll always sit,
Waiting, watching, hoping
For a chance to fly away.

I am nothing but a pretty little bird
Perched in my pretty gilded cage
On a high, high shelf
In a closed off room,
And I'm not even allowed to sing.

[Redacted]

I want to [redacted] kill myself
And end all the [redacted] I do.
I want to make the agony stop,
But I know I can't hurt you.

I never wanted happiness,
Just a [redacted] chance
To let myself be fully free,
To learn to sing and dance.

You know I couldn't do it;
I'm just a [redacted] coward.
So here I sit, full of rage,
Never letting down my guard.

[Redacted] this [redacted] world,
So full of pain and fear.
I can't escape my awful mind,
So [redacted] you for keeping me here.